• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

cait's plate

  • HOME
  • ABOUT
    • FOOD PHILOSOPHY
    • FITNESS PHILOSPHY
  • RECIPES
    • BREAKFAST & BRUNCH
    • LUNCH
    • DINNER
    • SNACKS & SIDES
    • DESSERT
    • THE BASICS
  • NUTRITION
    • INTUITIVE EATING SERIES
    • NUTRITION TOPICS
    • POPULAR DIETS
  • MEAL IDEAS
    • WORK WEEK DINNER PLANS
    • MEAL PREP
    • LUNCHBOXES
  • MOTHERHOOD
    • TODDLER FEEDING
    • PREGNANCY
    • BABY
  • FREE RESOURCES
  • NEWSLETTER SIGN-UP
  • CONTACT
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

intuitive eating: making peace with food

11 · Mar 7, 2019 · Leave a Comment

the fourth part of my deep dive into intuitive eating covering what it is, how to begin to put it into practice and my take on it as a registered dietitian. 

Today’s post is all about making peace with food, the third principle of Tribole and Resch’s Intuitive Eating program.

If you missed previous posts in this series, you can catch up now:

  • Intuitive Eating: What Is It? – a basic overview of what the Intuitive Eating program is
  • Intuitive Eating: Reject the Diet Mentality – a discussion of the first principle within the Intuitive Eating program
  • Intuitive Eating: Honoring Your Hunger – a conversation about the importance of listening to your body and the very real biological responses that occur when we don’t.

And you can always find all the posts I publish in this series right here should you wish to revisit one at any point.

If you follow me on Instagram, then you know how much I love and rely on trail mix. So would you believe me when I said that there was once a time when I wouldn’t even touch the stuff?

It’s true. When I went through my struggle all those years ago, I was terrified of the stuff. Not necessarily because I shouldn’t be eating it, but because whenever I ate it, I ate the entire bag. I felt out of control when I was eating it and deemed it a food that I just couldn’t be trusted around.

What I didn’t realize back then (and what took me some time to finally realize as I reconnected with intuitive eating) is that this wasn’t happening because I didn’t have self-control or because of trail mix specifically…it happened because:

  • I wasn’t honoring my hunger or fueling my body properly, so my biology was taking over in an attempt to get much-needed energy.
  • I wasn’t at peace with food and just the very fact that I considered trail mix a food that was ‘off-limits’ because I was ‘out of control’ when I ate it, was setting me up to overeat it.

Think about all the times you’ve told yourself you ‘can’t’ or ‘shouldn’t’ have a certain type of food. Do you often find that the moment you tell yourself that, it’s all you want? Or, if you successfully abstain from it for a while, do you find that as soon as you re-introduce it, you tend to overeat it?

The minute we tell ourselves something is off-limits (food, or otherwise!) it’s suddenly all we want…and usually it’s all we want in mass quantity because we feel deprived. It becomes the forbidden fruit, the only thing we’ve ever wanted. It’s just like when I ask Owen not to touch something. His immediate next response is to touch the thing I asked him not to.

Our psychological response to deprivation is powerful and the very act of telling ourselves we can’t have something (even before we’ve abstained!), makes us want it that much more.

Sometimes that’s a good thing (i.e. if in business someone tells you you’ll never reach a certain goal, that can drive you to work hard and get it). With food, it usually results in intense cravings, a hyper-focus on that food and overeating followed by guilt and a cycle of restriction and bingeing (you overate, so you restrict, you restricted so you overeat and so on and so on…) that can feel very hard to get out of.

Tribole and Resch’s describe the pattern of restriction followed by overeating in their book as “deprivation backlash.” No matter how long we’re able to “hold out” and abstain from a certain food, deprivation backlash always finds us.

If you’ve ever felt alone in this, I’m telling you that you’re not. The responses you experience when you restrict are not shameful. They’re universal and very normal as the body and mind attempt to rectify the situation. There are a number of great, relatable case studies in this chapter of  Tribole and Resch’s book. I highly recommend reading them if you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one experiencing this!

Individuals who restrict their intake via self-imposed rules often experience what Tribole and Resch discuss as the what-the-hell effect. Essentially, that moment when you’ve eaten (or even considered eating) something ‘off-limits’ and all those self-imposed rules you’ve set up fly out the window. You’ve ‘screwed up’ so now it’s time to throw caution to the wind and eat whatever you want, rules be damned. This attitude usually results in overeating to the point of feeling sick. I think we’ve all experienced this at some point of another when we’ve tried to deny ourselves something.

Studies on restrained eaters have shed a lot of psychological light in the world of dieting. They show how ineffective outlawing particular foods can be, and how it sets you up for overeating”

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works

This overeating is often driven by immense feelings of guilt for ‘failing.’ Tribole and Resch describe this as the “seesaw syndrome.” When you’re depriving yourself, the guilt you feel about eating the ‘wrong’ things is very low. The longer you deprive yourself, the lower your guilt is (think of a seesaw with deprivation on one end and guilt on the other…as your deprivation rises, your guilt lowers). When your guilt is low like this, you can ‘justify’ allowing yourself a little wiggle room. It may start in a very controlled way, a cookie here, a piece of bread there, whatever it was you were denying yourself. However, each time you ‘give-in,’ the deprivation side of the seesaw goes down and the guilt rises a little more. Eventually the guilt side of the seesaw is in the air while deprivation is on the ground until you begin to deprive yourself again because you can’t take the feelings of guilt. Up and down you go with this with no real end in sight (because like we discussed, deprivation backlash will always find you, so deprivation will never stay high in the air!)

This where the idea of unconditional permission to eat whatever you want comes into play. It’s the only way to break this cycle.

Like we talked about in the first post of this series, that can be an incredibly scary thing for many. It’s OKAY if it’s scary to you and if you feel like you’re not ready to take that on yet. Like I’ve said over and over again, learning to become an intuitive eater is a journey and it doesn’t happen over night.

When you feel ready to move forward with this step, here’s where you should start:

  • Rid yourself of the idea that there are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods. As I’ve said so many times before, no one food is going to cause weight gain or loss.
  • Listen to your body and your cravings and eat those foods. This really requires you to let go of what you think you should be eating and eating what you want (even if that’s chocolate cake for breakfast)
  • Eat with no strings attached. As we talked about in the first post, this doesn’t work if you’re secretly telling yourself that you’re going to ‘get back on track tomorrow.’ To make peace with food, you need to let go of the notion that another diet or ‘getting back on track’ is around the corner. This part of the intuitive eating process is not about nutrition or weight loss, it’s about making peace with food.

If this is scary to you, I don’t blame you. For those who have followed some sort of restrictive eating pattern for a while, the idea of giving up all control can feel terrifying. I remember feeling the same exact way when trying to reconnect with intuitive eating. I had a lot of false starts where I told myself I would eat without inhibition, but somewhere in the depths of my brain, I still had some of my old rules floating around.

It wasn’t until I finally let my guard down and literally just ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted that I really made peace with food. And you know what? Half the foods that I thought I was dying to eat, didn’t even taste that good once I let myself have them. I remember eating a Poptart once just because it was there and it was a food I never would have allowed myself previously and it tasted like stale cardboard. I couldn’t even finish it (because it was so unenjoyable, NOT because I felt guilty) and had to laugh at myself for holding it in such high regard simply because I deemed it ‘off-limits.’

For those that have expressed the fear that you’ll never stop eating or you’ll gain an endless amount of weight, I’m telling you that the opposite is true. Once you truly take everything off the “do not eat” list and give yourself permission to eat anything, the allure of those ‘off-limit’ foods wears off (as does the guilt and thus overeating). And the act of allowing yourself to eat whatever you want, and actually seeing that you’re not out of control builds that trust we talked about. Your body begins to trust you as you begin to listen to it and allow it to find its equilibrium. You, in turn, also begin to trust your body as episodes of guilt-driven overeating die down.

“…the process of giving yourself permission to eat is actually the stepping-stone to rebuilding your trust with food and with yourself. In the beginning, each positive food experience is like a tiny thread. They may be few and far between, and seem insignificant, but eventually the threads form a strand…[which] multiply into strong ropes…[that] finally become the bridge to a foundation of trust in food and in yourself”

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works

When I first started this phase of the intuitive eating process, I ate whatever I wanted – even if that meant candy for breakfast or pizza for dinner every night. But eventually, as the allure of the off-limit foods wore off, I found I wanted more nourishing foods. I started craving fruit, salads, yogurt…not because I felt like I should, but just because it’s what I wanted!

“In case after case, when people are given free choice and access to all varieties of food after going through the peace process, they end up balancing their intake to include mostly nutritious foods with a smattering of ‘play foods.'”

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works

Once I let go of all the restrictive rules, I was able to eat and taste everything without feelings of guilt crowding the experience and determine what I actually wanted and liked.

Is this step easy? No. Can it be scary? Absolutely. But I can tell you with absolute certainty (because I’m living proof!) that pushing past your fear and getting through this phase of intuitive eating is critical to the process and building a healthier relationship with food.

If you feel ready to take on this phase of the IE process, but would like a little more guidance, Tribole and Resch have a 5 Step Guide to getting started in their book that I think is very helpful!

References:

  • Tribole, E & Resch, E. Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works. 3rd ed. Aug 2012.
11

Related posts:

making peace with food // cait's platemaking peace with food when you feel out of control around it nutrition & intuitive eating // cait's platehow & where nutrition fits into intuitive eating weight gain when leaving diet culture // cait's plateweight gain when leaving diet culture emotional vs. binge eating // cait's plateemotional eating vs. binge eating

INTUITIVE EATING SERIES, NUTRITION

please note: items in these posts may contain affiliate links which simply means I earn a small amount of money if you click on them (at no additional cost to you).  this money is always re-invested in cait’s plate so I can continue to create free content to you!

Popular Posts

  • 4-ingredient green smoothie (666)
  • peanut butter and jelly waffle sandwich (359)
  • black bean, corn, sweet potato & farro bowl (with creamy avocado yogurt sauce) (204)

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

hello and welcome!

i’m cait, a registered dietitian and mom. i believe in a realistic approach to wellness. on this site you'll find easy recipes, nutrition content, motherhood tips and more! read more →

my approach to toddler feeding // cait's plate
cait's plate non-restrictive nutrition guide
free favorite recipes ebook
cait's plate newsletter sign-up
the big book of baked oatmeal // cait's plate

Footer

let’s connect on instagram!


tweaked my slow cooker turkey, bean & veggie chili
tweaked my slow cooker turkey, bean & veggie chili this past week to make it meatless and it was 🙌🏼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ here’s how I did it:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1/2 red onion, finely chopped⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 cup diced bell peppers (I used a mixture)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 3 cloves garlic, minced⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 2 tablespoons tomato paste⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 (28-oz.) can diced tomatoes⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 15-oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 15-oz. can kidney beans, rinsed and drained⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 1/2 cups veggie broth⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 3 teaspoons chili powder (+/- as desired)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 teaspoon ground cumin⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 teaspoon dried oregano⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1-2 sweet potatoes, peeled & cut into 2 inch cubes⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Salt & pepper, to taste⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 2-4 tbsp. olive oil⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 2 cups cooked quinoa⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ place everything but the quinoa into a slow cooker & place on HIGH for 4 hours. Stir in cooked quinoa & add additional salt / pepper / spices to taste. top with your favorite toppings (I love cheese, avocado, yogurt & hot sauce).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ this chili is great right away (even better after a day to marinate in the fridge) and is an easy make-ahead meal you can enjoy all week!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #caitsplatefood #caitsplate #chilirecipe #vegetarianrecipe #vegetrianmeal #vegetarianmealprep #slowcooker #slowercookermeals #crockpotrecipes

what's a diet culture rule you've never quite unde
what's a diet culture rule you've never quite understood? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ for me it was definitely the "don't eat after 6pm" rule 🤔 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hunger and digestion are not run by the clock. there are so many factors that can go into why we feel hungry from one moment to the next, and that feeling of hunger is always valid and should be honored, regardless of the time of day. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ similarly, there are no 'right' or 'wrong' times to eat a meal. breakfast, lunch and dinner are not bound to specific windows of time. each can be eaten whenever you & your body deem it appropriate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hope this reaches anyone who might need these reminders today ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #caitsplatenutrition #caitsplate #antidietdietitian #mindsetmatters #allfoodsfit #edwarriors #rdchat #dietitiansofinstagram #healthateverysize #dietculturedropout #nondietdietitian #antidietculture #antidietrevolution #intuitiveeatingjourney

these greek spinach & feta turkey meatballs make f
these greek spinach & feta turkey meatballs make for a super simple weeknight meal.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'm partial to serving them over some couscous or quinoa, slathering them in tzatziki sauce then adding some fresh cucumbers, red onions, tomatoes & pita bread.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ but you can really serve them up in whatever way you like best! done in 35 minutes and makes enough to eat for several meals 🙌🏼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ grab the recipe on @caitsplate (link in bio): https://caitsplate.com/greek-spinach-feta-turkey-meatballs/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #caitsplatefood #caitsplate #dinnerrecipes #dinnerathome #easydinner #easymeals #thefeedfeed #f52community #huffposttaste #recipeideas

just to add a little perspective around the messag
just to add a little perspective around the messaging that’s out there telling us all how to “lose the COVID 15...”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ let's reframe the fear mongering language around weight gain during this pandemic as a sign of privilege. having enough, at a time where so many have lost so much, should be looked at as nothing but a positive.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ our bodies are meant to shift and change with different seasons of life. using food as one way to cope with hard emotions is completely common and part of a peaceful relationship with food.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ we are in unprecedented times. seeking self-comfort and care in whatever way works for you is OKAY. having gained weight during this pandemic is OKAY and not something you need to be jumping to 'fix' or 'correct.' and most importantly, it's okay to reframe comfort eating to something you can be grateful for, a coping skill you have the privilege and opportunity to enjoy, rather than berating yourself for it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ sending everyone a great big virtual hug today 🤍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #caitsplatenutrition #caitsplate #nondietapproach #antidietdietitian #antidietculture #intuitiveeatingjourney #intuitiveeating #nondietdietitian #youareenough #youareworthy

another favorite from the archives!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
another favorite from the archives!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ this veggie sushi grain bowl takes all your favorite flavors from a veggie sushi roll and deconstructs it into an easy lunch.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ finished off with an Asian ginger vinaigrette, it will definitely be a meal you make time and time again.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ here’s what you need: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ for the grain bowl:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 2 cups cooked rice⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 cup steamed shelled edamame⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 2 cups carrots, peeled & cut into ribbons (you can also shredded or thinly slice them)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1/2 cup cucumbers, thinly sliced⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1 avocado, sliced⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Optional: black sesame seeds⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ for the dressing (recipe from all recipes):⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 3 cloves garlic, minced⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 2 tablespoons fresh ginger root, peeled & minced⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 3/4 cup olive oil⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1/3 cup soy sauce⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 3 tablespoons honey⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1/3 cup rice vinegar⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - 1/4 cup water⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ full recipe details on @caitsplate (link in profile): https://caitsplate.com/veggie-sushi-grain-bowl/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #caitsplatefood #caitsplate #vegetarianrecipe #vegetarianeats #vegetarianlunch #huffposttaste #thefeedfeed #f52community #lunchtoday

a few monday morning reminders for anyone who need
a few monday morning reminders for anyone who needs them! ❤️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #caitsplatenutrition #caitsplate #antidiet #intuitiveeatingjourney #nondietapproach #antidietdietitian #antidietculture #nondietdietitian


Disclaimer: Statements on this website are meant for general use only and are not intended to diagnose, cure, treat or prevent any disease. Readers are advised to consult with their healthcare providers prior to making any changes to their healthcare management. The information contained in this site is intended to serve as an inspirational aid and should be used in conjunction with advice from your healthcare professional. It is a supplement, not a substitute, to the knowledge, skill and expertise of healthcare professionals involved in patient care. All information contained in this site is subject to copyright and may not be reproduced without giving appropriate credit to the original source.

Copyright © 2021 · Seasoned Pro